Item #1: Billboard Magazine now has a top-20 chart for ringtones. Which isn't as ludicrous as it sounds, because selling ringtones has become a $3.5 billion business worldwide. $3.5 billion!? What other business that large is based totally and completely on selling products to annoy the people around you?

Item #2: While browsing various stores' appliance selections, I came across the SkyBox "personal beverage vendor" by Maytag. For just $568 ("vending machine" plus stand), you can outfit your rumpus room with something that vaguely resembles a vending machine. Optional extra-cost front and side panels let you personalize it with the logos of your favorite college or pro sports team!

In alternative options, the household refrigerator, last time I checked, will hold as many drinks as you want -- even five, six, seven different kinds all at one time! -- for no additional premium. Alternatively, you can put one of those dorm-room fridges right next to your TV for $100 -- and if you want to get fancy, you can tape your favorite sports team's logo on the side. Having done my share of vending-machine stocking in college (our student group had a soda machine as a fundraiser), I predict that a lot of SkyBoxes will be finding their way out to the garage, unplugged, after the third or fourth time they've been refilled by their eager-beaver sports-fan owners.