Scene: Me, Ontario airport, this morning; I've just put my computer and carryon bag onto the conveyor belt for the X-ray machine, and am waiting for the traffic jam in front of the metal detector to clear so I can take my turn.
SECURITY ZOMBIE
SIR? SIR? I suggest that you take off your shoes before you go through the metal detector.
ME
Why? I've flown with them and they've never set off the detector before ...
SECURITY ZOMBIE
Just in case there's some kind of problem, sir.
[I walk through the metal detector, wearing my ordinary white tennis shoes; nothing happens]
SECURITY ZOMBIE
[Immediately after I pass through the metal detector]
Sir, you're going to have to stand over in that area — BEHIND THAT BARRIER, SIR! — until we can get someone over to inspect you; DO NOT touch your posessions or remove ANYTHING from the conveyor belt!
ME
What's wrong? The detector didn't go off ...
SECURITY ZOMBIE
You have suspicious shoes, sir. They fit a profile.
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Does this make anyone feel safer? As I've said before, I can't wait until we have the Padded Bra Bomber, or the Codpiece Bomber ...
Posted by Kevin at February 28, 2006 12:16 PMKevin,
Ever since I have added your blog to my google homepage, I have been constantly entertained.
Sorry to hear about your flight. White tennis shoes are awfully suspicious. I mean nobody wears just plain white anymore. That is just plain sketchy :D.
Posted by: Thai at March 1, 2006 09:03 AMHey Thai!
Glad to hear that I'm keeping you entertained!
My shoes weren't completely white — they had blue trim, and reflective patches, and all of the usual junk. But they were Reeboks — does anyone wear Reeboks anymore? I think that's what tipped them off that I was a suspicious dude outside of the American mainstream.
Posted by: Kevin at March 2, 2006 02:12 PM